Chapter 43

How difficultly she has comforted her heart and has decided to leave everything behind and begin a new life by correcting her mistakes and bearing the consequences of her actions even if it involves life time suffering, but then a mere confession that can't be even consider as confession, changed her whole mindset. She was so determined to her actions but getting a heartfelt words from him affected her so much that her all planning, her all arguments to be a good woman, all went in vain as her heart started cheating her, it still want to be happy, to be with someone she wants. And this someone is not her husband, no matter how she tried to make her heart remember the feeling it was feeling for her husband long time ago, but no matter how much she tries, it only remembers one person and that one person is definitely not her husband. She blamed herself, she cursed herself for her sin to forget her husband's love. How can she do this? Isn't it funny that she suddenly start loving someone else? She herself can't believe it, how could she easily get over of her husband's love who was her lover before being her husband, but the answer was not so difficult. She herself knew that their relationship was not on a right track since the time she lost her baby. But, it was not his fault, he never demand anything from her, neither did he complain for the sexual need that she couldn't satisfy him nor did he cheat on her for this that most of the husband does in case their wife can't fulfill their needs. But, despite everything, they knew that they have been losing the spark in their relationship that should be in a couple. She was wrong to cheat her husband, and she knew it, but she can't help doing it as she can't be a woman he loves, and she can't act innocent for the rest of her life, does she? He wants an innocent and generous lady but she is not an innocent or kind, she is different but she can't express it to him in fear that he would judge her, but it's different in case of Ayush. She doesn't need to pretend that she is innocent and delicate. She can be herself and he will still be stick to her. He will not judge her, he will not think that she is sick to like weird things during sex as he understands everything. He knows sex is not just an activity, he knows how important it is in one's life just like her. Just as he said, they are the couple made in heaven. They should be the one married to each other, not to the person they are now married with. But, what can they do? Fate plays harsh games that human can't understand.