Chapter 7

Jax slammed the front door of his condominium unit. He didn't go home. He knew he wasn't in a good state to drive. Thankfully, his condo was close to the hotel. The drive wasn't long, but it took a lot of effort to concentrate on his driving. His vision was blurry, compounded by the inexplicable emotions that engulfed his heart. His fists clenched, and he wanted to tear at his own hair. He couldn't believe himself. What he did was so out of line. The woman had no idea that he was using her image in his mind while he was with someone else. “Fuck! What were you thinking, you stupid shit?!” He leaned his hands on the bar counter of his condo. He was panting and flushed with anger; anger at himself. “Shit!” He angrily rubbed his palms on his face. He was just making everything more complicated. He gave in to Monica, thinking it would erase Bree from his mind, but it turned out to be a wrong step. How could he go back to his office and face that woman? And what possessed him to think of Bree while he was with Monica? It was like his mind suddenly switched on, and thoughts about Bree came rushing in like a flash flood. He was sure of himself that he wasn't sexually attracted to that woman. What he was sure of was that she irritated the hell out of him. So he couldn't understand why she suddenly popped into his mind. He didn't lust after that woman! He wanted to punch himself! His goal for tonight was to forget about her. But it seemed like his problem was getting worse. She would forever be etched inside his mind whenever he tried to have sex with someone. Worse, she might suddenly appear in his mind the next time he made love! He grabbed a bottle of liquor from his stash. He chugged almost half of the contents, but still felt unsatisfied. He drank from the bottle again until it was empty. He grabbed another bottle and took it to the living room. He wanted to drink and wash all those memories out of his head. He slumped on the floor, a bottle of beer in his hand. He felt so lost and confused. He took his wallet from the back of his slacks and pulled out a picture of his deceased wife. Katherine was smiling vibrantly in the picture. She was still his girlfriend when that photo was taken. That was one of the best days of his life. She had just said yes to him, and he was overflowing with joy in those days. And even though many criticized their relationship, they stood their ground until they got married in the church and started their own family. They proved those people wrong, that what Jax and Kath had was pure love. Many people said that Kath was just using him to become famous as an actress. They branded her as a gold digger and a user, but it was all untrue. Their feelings for each other were real. Thankfully, she didn't give up on him and stayed strong even though many people criticized her. Looking at her smiling and kind face made him feel even more guilty. He felt like he was betraying his wife for what he did earlier. He didn't know what got into him. He promised on Kath's grave that he wouldn't rest until her murderer rotted in prison. He promised her parents that he wouldn't forget their daughter. “I’m so sorry, honey.” He held the picture of his deceased wife. He felt terrible. He felt sorry for his wife, he didn't know how he could have done such a horrible thing. He failed her. “I’m so sorry. God! I’m so sorry!” A tear rolled down Jax's cheek, followed by many more. He let himself cry for his wife. He wasn't over her yet. The pain was still there, hidden in the deepest pits of his scarred heart. Images from the past flashed in his mind. Kath's naked and lifeless body when they found her. Her eyes were still open, but the sparkle was gone. Her skin was pale and covered with bruises in different parts of her body. She was already in a state of decomposition when they found her. Her cause of death was asphyxiation. It meant she died by strangulation, and you could see the mark on her neck. Jax's heart filled with anger and pain again. Jackson sobbed in despair. His chest felt tight, and he was having trouble breathing. “Oh, god, Kath,” How could he ever forget his wife? How could he let himself get distracted by some woman he had just met recently? He hadn't even given justice to the death of his beloved wife. The person who killed her hadn't been caught yet. He should be focusing on finding the culprit. He hadn't kept his promise to her. “Honey, I'm so sorry I hurt you.” His eyes were swollen with tears. He held the picture of his wife to his left chest and sobbed uncontrollably. He needed to give her justice. But what had he done? He betrayed her! He betrayed his dead wife! He pounded his chest in the intensity of the pain he felt. He lay on the floor and continued to cry. His vision was spinning, and he was about to be consumed by darkness. Jackson closed his eyes and let himself be devoured by darkness. In the intensity of the sadness he felt now, he just wanted to die to be with his wife. But he knew he couldn't do that because of Amy. He couldn't just leave her yet. He fell asleep in that position. He didn't finish the liquor he was drinking, and he fell asleep on the floor, holding the picture of his wife to his chest. His body shut off from the world. Fueled by the alcohol and the intense grief he was carrying, his mind conjured up unpleasant images. Horrible images haunted him in his dreams. That night, he dreamed of a woman's devilish laughter. He saw only darkness, but the evil voice echoed everywhere. Her laughter was chilling, and no matter how hard Jax tried to cover his ears, her laughter wouldn't go away. He dreamed of his wife being murdered, and the images were so vivid, and unlike his previous dreams, this one was the most brutal of all. In his dream, he saw the woman who actually killed his wife, a woman, and she was happy while mercilessly stabbing his beloved wife. Jackson shivered as he witnessed how the woman tortured his wife. His wife was crying, and the woman just laughed, enjoying what she was doing. Jackson wanted to shout, but no voice came out of his mouth. No matter how hard he tried to scream, nothing happened. It just made him more desperate. He wanted to run, but he couldn't move from where he stood. “Jackson... Jackson... Help me, please.” Those were Katherine's last words before she died. Her eyes were open, looking at him with regret. She was blaming him. He didn't help her when he had the chance to save her. In his dream, it was Bree who killed Katherine. She laughed like a demon while her whole body was covered in his wife's blood. Her grin was terrifying, and she promised that she would kill him next. “Don't, please,” the sleeping Jax whimpered. He clenched the picture in his hand tightly. His whole body was covered in sweat, his breathing quickened, and his head tossed and turned. Jackson was crying while he was asleep. The fear he felt for his wife's safety was overwhelming. He wanted to reach for Katherine, but she seemed too far for his arms to reach. No matter how hard he tried to reach her, she just kept moving away. He was startled when, instead of reaching Kath, a hand with long nails suddenly grabbed his arm. A woman's witchy voice said in his ear, “You are mine, Jackson Samaniego. You can’t escape me. I will kill anyone who tries to take you away from me. Look at your wife now, she tried to take you away from me, now she’s useless and dead.” She laughed, and Jax's whole body trembled with fear. He tried to pull his arm from her grip, but she was too strong. He was terrified to the bone. Bree killed his wife! “Jackson!” Jackson turned at the sound of his wife's voice calling him. He saw nothing but a sea of darkness. “Jackson! Don't go near her! She's a bad person, avenge my death, please! I'm begging you, give me justice for their killing me! Don't forget me! Please, you love me, don't you?” Her voice was pleading, but Jackson couldn't see her anymore. Jackson wanted to shout in pure rage. For the second time, he was unable to save Katherine from her murderer. His heart filled with anger towards the woman holding his arm, but when he turned around, she was gone. Jackson only heard Katherine's piercing scream. She screamed like her life was being sucked out of her body. A scream of someone deeply hurt. After Kath's scream, Bree's laughter followed. She was so happy. “Kath! No! Please, don't hurt my wife!” Jackson's eyes flew open. He gasped for breath as he sat up without warning. He clutched the fabric of his shirt while he was catching his breath. His whole body was still trembling from his dream. It was so vivid. It felt like he was really there. Because of his sudden awakening, Jackson's head spun. He closed his eyes and steadied his breath. He could hear the loud pounding of his heart in his ears. It was a very scary dream, and at the same time, it was heart-wrenching. The pain of Kath's death came back again. He knew he had never really overcome the pain of her death. It was just hidden, but it never went away. He wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was bathed in his own sweat. He looked around. He was a little confused about where he was and how he got there. His mind was still numb. But eventually, he remembered that he had come home to his condo because he had been drinking. The surroundings were bright. The light from the sun came through the glass door on the porch. The glass door was still open, so the wind was blowing in strongly, making the curtains move. It dawned on him that he had fallen asleep on the floor while crying last night. When he looked at his hand, the crumpled picture of Katherine was still there. He closed his eyes tightly. It had been more than a year since he had a nightmare. This was the first time he had dreamed like that, and the worst part was that the events in his dream were so clear. And Bree was also there, he couldn't understand why she was there in his dreams. What did that dream mean? He needed an answer. Right now! Jax rubbed his palms on his face to wake himself up even more. He looked for his cell phone and called his psychiatrist friend, Trisha Saavedra. She was one of his closest friends, and she had helped him during the time he was devastated by Katherine's death. He developed depression, and the nightly visitations of nightmares made it worse for him.