Chapter 3

Astra walked into her apartment, and she made sure she locked the door before she dropped her bag on the floor and slid down the wall. All these years of thinking about her reunion with Nicholas, she never imagined he would hate her that much. She could see the hatred in his eyes as he called her a whore. The same five years didn’t heal her heart and the same five years wasn’t enough to make her stop hating him. The most painful part of this process was that he never told her what happened. He threw her out in the rain, called her names, and banged the door in her face. She felt betrayed because this man had promised to love her forever, promised to cherish her forever, and yet on one day, he turned her out and threw her to the wolves. She sobbed quietly, and she covered her mouth. She willed herself to cry because she had been holding on to her tears for so long. No matter what she did, she hated the way simple name-calling from him could send her back into the trenches she was coming out of gradually. Her phone vibrated, and she searched her bag for the ringing device. She brought it out, and seeing the caller’s name, she wiped her tears. She cleared her throat before picking up the call. It was Jared, a guy she met at a lawyer’s dinner, and they hit it off immediately. Astra enjoyed his company because he had a good sense of humor and they went out a few times. She always pretended that she didn’t notice that Jared liked her and wanted something serious. She made sure not to sound stressed or as if she had just finished crying. "Hey, Jay. How are you doing today? I meant to call you. " Astra said that as soon as she picked up the call, she blew air through her mouth. She hoped her voice didn’t sound as stupid as she felt. She heard ruffling in the background, and she guessed Jared was clearing his table. He was probably sitting on the table and about to give her an earful as usual. "I heard your ex-husband came around today, and a particular birdie told me that you cried in the bathrooms too. Astra, breathe. You are not at fault here, and it’s not you who is shit. If a man who promised to love you forever decided to abandon you halfway without any excuse, then you should know you’re not the shitty one he was. If I asked you what happened to your voice, you’d tell me that work stressed you without blinking. Astra, I know you are still creating excuses for this man who wouldn’t think twice before tossing you out. Aren’t you tired of this circle every time?" Jared rambled in one breath, and Astra hung up. She was still hurt, and the last thing she wanted to hear now was someone trying to make her feel like a fool for feeling this way. She wasn’t a fool, and she would never be one. She doubted if Jared had ever loved someone the way she loved Nicholas. Suppose he ever felt like his entire world revolved around this whole person? She hated that Nicholas was no longer in her life, yet he still made things worse for her. She wanted to hate him from deep down, but she couldn’t. Jared was right because each time she got hurt, she always created the perfect excuse for them. When Nicholas threw her in the rain, she made excuses for him. At least, everyone goes through things at times. When he didn’t check up on her after the divorce, she concluded he was still hurt by everything that happened, even though she had no clue what happened in the marriage or why she was dumped. Even when the fire accident happened, she blamed it on him because he had a multi-millionaire business to look after. Her phone chimed, indicating a message had just come in. It was a text from Jared, apologizing for lashing out at her like that. Next week, he invited her to an art showcase, and he wanted to apologize again. She switched off her phone before stripping off every one of her clothes. It was time to cry in the shower. ____________ Nicholas took another shot of his tequila, and he winced at the burning taste. He wanted to do more, do something like hit his mirror again, but Astra’s words earlier stopped him. She was correct; he was the one who was hurt, who was broken, who was still haunted by his ex five years after the divorce.He didn’t want to prove her right; he wasn’t going to. Three bottles of his most potent vodka later, and Nicholas was a blubbering mess. He no longer looked like the man he used to be; he looked more like a shadow of himself. He wanted to disappear from the face of the earth and maybe allow himself some time to heal. Instead, it was a mess already. He looked at the table, and staring at her address neatly written by his private investigator made him feel uneasy. He wanted to visit her, tell her they should put the past behind them, and continue their love again. Maybe all of these aches will go away. He was Nicholas Michealson, and he wasn’t supposed to bow to anyone. Three times the richest man according to Forbes and the CEO of a chain of multi-billion dollar restaurants, he shouldn’t be scared of a mere woman. Not just any woman, the one who broke his heart and reduced him to nothing. She made him crave her love till money meant so little to him, and all he wanted was to be wrapped in her arms. No woman would do that to him and go scot-free. He had the power to do and undo. He stood up, and he grabbed his car keys. He was going to give her a piece of his mind; he would let her know how evil she was and how she would suffer for so many years. He would tell her how the devil would bow at his feet when he dealt with her to his satisfaction. Everyone would be scared of him, and they would call him the Devil. He entered his car before reversing out of his driveway, and he drove towards Astra’s house. He was going to empty his heart and tell her how much she hurt him. He would ask her to apologize, and they would be one happy family again. He pulled up in her driveway before muttering some words of encouragement to himself. He was sure she wanted this too; she wanted them to mend things. He saw it in her eyes earlier. He knocked raptly on the door, and he waited for her to open the door; he knew she would soon open the door. He was half expecting it, and when some minutes passed without her opening, he rested on the door; he was starting to regret why he came here at first. He could have just stayed at home and gotten another round of alcohol. He might wake up with a banged head, but it’s worth more than being ignored by the only one you feel something for. He left the door before he sat on the pouch; he was here already, and he wasn’t going to leave until she opened the door. He had already embarrassed himself, so it’s better he allowed himself to be embarrassed further than go back home without talking to the only woman he has ever loved. He heard the keys in the lock, and he thought he heard things until the door opened to reveal Astra with a deep scowl on her face. Her face morphed into surprise when she saw him, and she wasn’t expecting him at all. He let his eyes rake over her body, and he felt all his blood run south. She still had that effect on him, the ability to turn him on without even trying at all. All she had on was simple nightwear with a Hello Kitty inscription. "Mr. Michealson, Is there a reason you are at my house at this time? " She asked, and he stood up from where he was sitting and walked towards her. She walked him while he tried to walk without losing his footing. He got near, and he pushed the door open before entering, and she shut the door after them before locking it. She was about to give him an earful about visiting her dead in the middle of the night, dead drunk. He pressed her against the door before putting his hand on the door and preventing his entire weight from being dumped on her. She looked up at his tall frame, and he had this faraway look on his face. Those days when he would tease her for her height and then come back to apologize—the good old days. "Look at how beautiful you’ve become. You don’t look affected by our divorce. I’m the one that divorced you, yet I’m the one who suffered the most. Look at what you’ve reduced me to, a common alcoholic with money. I’ve lost interest in almost everything, and you do nothing but invade my head all day and give me nightmares at night. Is this what I get for loving you, Astra? Is this what love does to people? They take away your power and leave you vulnerable to them. If this is love, I don’t want to experience it anymore; I want to be alone with just my thoughts and no care in the world, " He ended his rant with a shout, and Astra scoffed. He had the nerves to think she wasn’t hurt too or that she never cried herself to sleep almost every day in the first year of their divorce; how she would trek long distances for no reason at all other than to walk and let the breeze blow her hair in different directions. She would cry during her walks at night and still wake up the following day to prepare for work. "You think you’re the only one hurt. Sorry to burst your bubble; you’re not the only one hurt. Imagine someone who promised to cherish you forever throws you out in the rain one night with no money on you. You try to reach everybody. Instead, you are called names. Nobody wants to listen to your side of the story because you don’t even know what went wrong. Every day, your so-called husband is seen by different women at different events. Astra stopped counting all those people. I’m sorry I hurt you, Astra. I’m here to make things right between us. Maybe we can rekindle whatever we used to have. Astra, I don’t think I would be able to love any other person the way I love you. He ended his declaration by pressing his lips against hers. She wasn’t expecting this, but she has definitely missed it. The way her lips always mold into his, and they will create perfect sync. She knew she missed him, but she never realized how much. She wrapped her hands around his neck, and she pressed her body against his. This was getting hot so fast, but none of them cared. He lifted her from the floor, and she wrapped her legs around him. Their tongues battled for dominance for a while before he trailed his tongue down her neck, just the way she liked it. She gasped as his teeth grated against her neckline, and he gave her ass a gentle squeeze. He raised her nightgown a little bit over her ass, and he pressed her back to the door while he worked his magic on her throat. Astra didn’t know whether to scream or moan at the intensity of the pleasure. This was the first time that someone was driving her close to getting an orgasm without penetration in five years. Everything clicked in Astra’s head, and she decided to stop him from going further; she was not going to let him waltz back into her life after five years of causing her pain and sorrow. She unwrapped her legs from his body, and he looked at her with puppy eyes. I don’t want to do this now; I don’t think I’m ready for it now. Let’s just sleep, " She whispered, and he followed her to the bedroom. This time, he held her while they both slept. For the first time in five years, Astra slept like a baby.