Chapter 78

“I decided to take the little money that I had to start over in a small town. I found out that I was pregnant a little after out, I was very depressed then and I hated my self and the baby for a while. I found a job as a secretary but quickly got laid off when they knew that I was pregnant, they did not want to have to deal with maternity leaves and the like, so I lost my job. The only thing that kept me going was my children. I had the twins in a hospital and I was alone then, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. I loved my children, but my money was drying up fast and I did not have any source of income. I was generally lonely then, I got depressed again. Brianna died in her crib one day, I don’t just know what happened but she did not cry at night one night and in the morning she was not waking up. I rushed her to the hospital and they labelled it crib death, she was gone, one of my babies was gone just like that. I was not in the right frame of mind before then and so I just sinker farther in. I was lost. I turned to alcohol the moment I stopped breastfeeding and I was drunk the day the fire started. I remember thinking that I would kill myself if something happened to Brian because of me, I shielded him as much as a I could with my body and so he did not have any burn marks. They tried to take him away from me and it was Yvonne that helped me then. They thought that I started the fire, by mistake. It took a long while for them to realize that it was not me. I figured it was just an accident until Ray confessed to doing all of that, even poisoning my daughter. Things looked up for me after then. I was much more focused and I tried to get a decent job. My skin had numerous scars but I learned to wear them with pride. Most of my money went to treating Brian, I had been devastated to hear that he had leukemia. It seemed like the entire world was against me, but this time, I was willing to work against the world. I was ready to fight. I took care of Brian and lived together with Yvonne until you sent the divorce settlement money. I decided to do plastic surgery for my skin then, to increase my self esteem, I planned to come back to the big city and make enough money for my son’s treatment. I guess it was just fate that you were my first client,” Astra said. Nicholas had listened to every word that she said and he was very shocked at the way the story went. He already knew most of what happened but he had not really heard it all at once. Nicholas blamed himself for what happened to Astra and his children on some level. And then he blamed Ray for destroying them. “I am sorry, I really am,” Nicholas said snd Astra nodded.